Tumbling

Oh God, I'm glad that this is ending soon because I am so dizzy... so dizzy! And I kissed ChoirMan last night (I mean really kissed!) and now I am so confused that I don't know what to do or where to go, and does this mean that I should stop writing to him? I am just so dizzy! (And after AIR7 on Friday...)

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Okay, well, I just relocated from the music library to the hallway outside 814 Dodge (and God, I am so dizzy!) after fixing the email situation.

Isn't it funny that ChoirMan thinks I'm being hurt by S and vice versa? (God, it's spinning and I feel sick!) Why did he let that happen though? (And he said he's rather give than get, but so would I). Did he try? And did I? And was he serious? How can he really care about me when it's so clear that it's wrong and that it would confuse me. I don't know... I want to die.

I want to have dinner with AIR7 tonight and just get away form here. I want to get away, get away, get away from here!!! And what does KSing think of me now? (And it is officially hopeless with HIM). And I have such a terrible, nauseating headache. How could I have kissed him? And he said that he hasn't read any of those letters yet (except one) and I wonder why not and how he can be so incurious...

I want to vomit all of this out and die right now... I want to vomit it out and be dead NOW. I have already died in so many other ways and what is left is not worth anything... Not worth shit...

I am supposed to go to the doctor on Wednesday and I really don't want to go.