A Letter to my Mom

Dear Mom,

This letter may seem a little strange, but before you read any further, promise that you won't ask me any questions...

I have been upset for a really long time, as you probably know, but the way that I fix everything is to pretend that I'm not upset and that everything is perfect. This usually goes on until I have a breakdown every now and then and you never understand why I cry so much over such a little trigger. The thing is, I have gotten so used to pretending that I'm okay that it has become nearly impossible for me to articulate to anyone, especially the people closest to me, that I'm not.

I'm telling you that I'm not okay and I think I've been depressed for a long time. I think it is too big for me by myself right now, so I am asking for your help. But I don't want help directly. IT is too hard for me that way. I need to see someone to talk to while I can still keep up my old "self-defense" mechanisms for the moment.

I understand if it's a lot of money, but we have to find a way, even if I stop singing because this is robbing me of all of my life.

I love you so much!

H