Thanksgiving Weekend

Well, that was yesterday... I don't remember everything that the psychic said, except that I am lonely, will have interruptions in my life but will eventually be stable and successful. I should "focus my divine communication" and that I had a gift for understanding the world in a way that others can't. I don't know how much is true and how much is just sweeping generalization that everyone can apply to themselves!

Anyway, LilSis, Jar, JD, Jen, Aunt B and Uncle R went home this morning. Times have really changed... everyone has their own life now...

I went to buy some jewelry but I didn't want anyone to see me and then I saw Nanny and Judy at the counter, so I am hiding before I go to pay for what I picked out.

Maybe Dr. G read that dream about the emeralds... Maybe that's why she called me...

I still feel this tension-- like I have to get away fast. But then I remember that I am away and I wonder why that pressing and that choke have not freed me yet. I don't know why or where, but it's like-- I feel this primitive voice screaming "GO! GO! RUN! Change worlds NOW!" And I am desperately trying to ignore it because I don't understand it or what it is asking me to do.

I think I'll get up now to see if Nanny is still there.

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Uh oh... She was there with five other people. I just walked by and the sales lady didn't see me... Maybe I shouldn't buy anything. Maybe it is all stupid. Why do I really want it anyway?

I am getting a really bad headache and I don't have any Advil with me, but God... it's going to be a bad one.

Maybe I should just go get my coat and take a walk by myself around the lake and write poetry. (God, I still haven't done that paper!) But I have been perfect with cigarettes this weekend! I just want to go to sleep... or to go away or something... I told you, I hear the call, but I don't understand the instinct of how to get rid of the urgency or the ache.

This woman next to me just borrowed a coin to scratch off a lotto ticket and she won $3. I hear my mom's voice, but she doesn't see me. I guess they have left the jewelers though, so I can go over in a few minutes. I will wait for them to disappear around the corner.