Implants

I have a sudden and pressing urge to get breast implants. I think it would make me feel much better about everything. I think that the whole thing could be done for under $10,000. I'm sure I could save that in five years. I'm going to put away $20 a week. At that rate, how long would it take? Hmmm... I guess that's not enough. How about $50 a week? I think I could make it in 3 years! That's not so bad...

I wonder what I would look like... I just want to look different. I want things to be new again. I want everything to be new and fresh and exciting.

B is making me weary. But I just love him so much...

On the other hand, he just has to learn how to let go. I can't live my life without that feeling of freedom... of breathing... of air! Air! AIR!!!

I want to be young, have friends, go out... Why do I feel so god-damn old?!? Maybe next summer I will go away and do something crazy...

I want to do something crazy.

I want the world to be new again.