One a Plane with B

Everything is SO much better. I am so proud of myself for holding my ground. I think it really makes a difference in the way that he sees me and treats me.

Yesterday was CW's wedding-- a strange event, but very fun. I honestly can't believe that he's married! It's all too strange... I had so much fun dancing though. I wish that we could go out dancing some more, but now I have that whole bad memory of that stupid girl and the idea of going to a club nauseates me.

Right now we are on the plane from Memphis to New Orleans. I'm really excited about this trip... although six days seems WAY short.

I love looking down and watching the clouds press their fingers over the delicate glass that separates heaven from earth. The earth here is divided into brown and green patches linked by their beige snaking lines. It's all so neat... so sanitized. But I know that if I stood on the Earth here, it would seem natural, fertile and wondrous compared to the sparkling city sidewalks of New York.

The squares below remind me of the neat line of a new haircut on the back of a boy's neck.

And the clouds float above, softly chiding us with laughter and amorphous asymmetrical perfection.

"Lines and loops aren't necessary" they say.

It's hard to hear up here. Maybe it's best not to hear everything that they're saying. Secrets are best kept that way, and blues fade from blue to blue.

But my ears hurt. And sometimes I wish I were back in the forest. That must be childhood.

I wonder where their ribbons are? The magical plastic threads that open and close the marionette mouths of the clouds. A paper airplane folded and painted and silent hangs motionless among them.

"A Christmas ornament," he called it.

Hmmm.....

Being in the sky reminds me of being in an inverted sea. And gazing towards the clouds reminds me of the rippling patches of light through which civilization rests-- not a soul to be seen from these depths...

Just the piercing shades of blue and white and the silent landscape below.