Secrets and Questions

It's frightening that my suicidal thoughts still happen.

I emailed Liu about the other night with GoldenFinch and I am so paranoid that he has my password and will find it. I should have erased it right then... I'll have to do it when I get home. And email Dr. G... God knows what I'll say to that. I just don't feel like talking to her this week. And last night... at least he was a little better about my sadness. i just wish I could control my moods better though.

All that stuff about the parade really scares me. I mean... I think I was getting a little better about not being afraid in elevators, etc. but the thought that these were normal guys... Not criminals and it escalated to that kind of violence makes me think that every man is capable of that stuff... all it takes is alcohol to release what is already there.

It's really frightening.

I have to remember to email VJ (or call). This is ridiculous... I haven't seen her since mid-May! (I think I'm gonna be late to my class.) All this stuff with choir is kind of weird too... I feel very out of the loop, but at the same time, I don't want to be in it. I wander what did happen with ChoirMan. Maybe Lewser knows something... I can't see how they could have completely ignored the sexual harassment issue, but if they did recognize it and bring it up, how could they have not fired him? Anyway... that's all for now.