New Year's Fallout

So, in Florida now and life goes on. Spent the day going to brunch, the mall to see Stepmom, and now back at the house at 10:00 PM. I'm just glad that I got out of New York after New Year's Eve. God, that night was an absolute disaster. BigSis knows everything. She saw everything. But at least it's out and we talked it though. Things will be fine with her.

As for AIR7, well, that's the letter I am sending, so I guess the best thing is to just forget all about it for now, although I don't know if I'll be able to. I wonder if my mom is right and if he set up that situation with Brandi on purpose, even if it's on some subconscious level.

God, I have a really stiff neck! I need B at a time like this!

I am still exhausted form that night though. (God, I can't stop thinking about him!). Why does it change everything that he told me that...? BigSis is talking to Bro-in-Law on the phone right now. I wish I could call him but I can't and I shouldn't want to.

Life is so different without being at school. I am going to stop with the cutting. I think that's what scares him the most. (By the way-- note to tell him about the perky waitress that called me "hon" and was our age).

Well, I have to force myself to forget him and work on myself. I can't though... Six more days until I see him again.