Lost

I'm going to go buy a new journal today. I need to say goodbye to this year. The day or two after I ended the pregnancy I felt better-- like my old self. Now I feel disconnected from everything. Like I can feel the burning out embers of life inside of me. And I'm so sick of loving Narc. I'm so sick of feeling lovesick all the time-- because it's not love that's making me feel that way. It's confusion and frustration. And I feel lost.