Silence.

One of those control moments... wish I could call him, but knowing there will be only silence. And that will be even worse than what I have right now. That would be death.

The Bad Girl

B is mad at me now. What did I do? Things fall apart already? He only got here an hour ago. I'm bad, I tell you. Bad. Sometimes I hate myself so much. I don't deserve anything. And today was to remind me of that. He says he doesn't feel good. Well, I don't either. I bet it's because I require something today. I bet.

At the Bar

Too funny...

I'm at Cheers and the day waitress just told me that they went to Manchester the other night and said they work at Cheers and Maeve asked if they knew me. Guess things get around, you know?

Anyway, I'm in a weird mood today. Don't know what to do about the whole Stallion situation. I can't believe the feelings he has for me. Half of me wants to pursue it, but then I remember what Dr. G asked me this afternoon-- if he were single would I want to go out with him? I think the answer would be know.

So, my mind is still on Narc and on the personal as political. I feel a little weird/ nervous about hanging out with Bezoukhoff tonight. Things are too clear, you know? Too clear to ignore.

Ex-Libris (no known author, mystery section)
Book is called "Ex Libris" ("Rose")

$40,00--Bezoukhoff owes you!

Notes

"Socialist pricks with bourgeois dicks"

The personal as political problem.

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