What I Create

Things are scaring me again. I totally fucked myself up last night and now I don't know how I'm going to hide my wrist at the Opera Ensemble concert or in front of Mommy on Saturday and Sunday. God, I'm such a moron!

And I didn't want to do it, but there was nobody home until it was too late, and then-- thank God-- I spoke to Eunie. But it is out of control because everyone sees. But in some strange way, it makes me feel better-- seeing it there... It's like the completion or the fulfillment of myself.

Anyway, I have so much stuff going on this week with rehearsals, etc. and I am super stressed about the weekend (is there anybody out there?) with everything that I have to do.

I am stuck in CD II of The Wall.

Out at Symposium until 1:30 AM (it is 2:24 AM now) and I have my CC midterm tomorrow and did shit.

God, I'm tired though and worn and hate myself for what I create.

Save me! I don't want to be this, but I can't get out because I'm not even sure that I want to get out either.

Anyway, I am super tired, so... Good night.

-H-