My Uncle? Or My Dad?

My pen is going to run out and condemns me to silence, but that is okay because I sense it that way anyway.

Today when I saw Uncle A. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to fall asleep on his shoulder but kept running into the same wall that he is a different man. It is sort of like with twins-- with Uncle B and Frank. When I see Frank I feel instant affection, like he is my uncle for one split second and then it all fades and I remember. Well, today that split second burst over and over like fireworks in my head and left me feeling gutted... And I was filled with so much empty longing.

And when we came back to the hotel and I lay on my mom's bead, all I thought of was how much I didn't want to go to Cuba and how much I wanted to die. We must leave here soon.

It is very bad for me to be put back there.